Offensive
by AngelKairi
Summary: [yuriku for Annjirika's already gone birthday] Yuffie wakes up to find Riku's kitten on her pillow, and goes in hunt of revenge... [sidefic to Renegade Hearts. Love you, Ann dear!]


_**Offensive.**_

"_Riku_!" Came a shriek that reverberated throughout the tiny dark house. The owner of the name sat bolt upright as thumping feet dashed towards him, and his door was flung open.

"Riku," hissed a tiny ninja, a ghost in the doorway. She was breathing hard and looked angry – very angry, in fact. Her anger made less of an impression on the silver-haired youth, however, than the fact that she was currently wearing white silk boxers and a matching tunic.

"Riku!" She said yet again, and loudly, jolting him back to the present situation. "What the _fuck _was this thing doing on my pillow?"

It was then that he realized that in her trembling left hand she held a tiny grey lump, dangling pathetically from her fist. He leapt out of bed instantly, hands outstretched; she yanked cat and arm hastily backwards, glaring venomously at him. "I thought she was in here!" He protested, walking towards her.

Yuffie made an inarticulate noise, hair like a black storm cloud trying to obscure the fiery lightning of her eyes. She jerked her hands back again as Riku tried to reach for his kitten. The tiny creature mewed pathetically, pink tongue and white teeth showing; Riku noted with a certain hazy and carefully concealed amusement that Yuffie seemed to melt visibly when the kitten's paw stretched out beseechingly.

"What on earth is going on here?" Moments later, a pink-clad Aerith glided sleepily down the hallway and into the view of Riku's aquamarine eyes. She halted at the door. "Yuffie, what –"

Yuffie turned to face her slightly, still quivering with suppressed anger. "He promised to control it! And then I wake up, and the thing, the savage little _beast, _is half, half on my _face!_ "

Aerith, however, had already slipped into overprotective mother mode, her green eyes turning large and watery as she reached for the tiny kitten. "Oh, you poor, poor thing…"

"Nah nah nah, she's mine!" Riku said fiercely, moving in to grasp his furball. He froze as green eyes glared – well, Aerith just didn't glare, but he couldn't for the life of him think of any other way to describe it – at him, suddenly as soft as granite. Practically unnoticed, indigo eyes angrily tried to hold his own unsuccessfully.

Yuffie didn't like being ignored. With another inarticulate yell – she'd made a lot of those this evening – that the other two current human occupants of the room blinked at, she darted past the tall guy with the aquamarine eyes and leaps onto the bed recently vacated by him. Another yell accompanied a triumphant toss of blankets as she wriggled in under the bedding, cat in tow.

Riku and Aerith gaped.

Eventually, Aerith found her voice, almost as serene as ever. "I'll, ah, leave you to it, then," she said to no one in particular, gazing out over the room, bare but for a tall chest and the now occupied bed. Riku thought he caught a hint of a smirk on her face as she turned to leave, but decided against it – sweet Aerith _never_ smirked.

Well. That left him and a very pissed off – and somehow, still insanely hyper – Yuffie.

Running slender fingers through straight silver hair, he turned to survey his bed. The little lump in it quivered in the moonlight – he was pretty sure that Yuffie was playing with the kitten right about now.

"Yuffie?"

No answer.

He tried again, clearing his throat and taking a step toward the plain bed. "Yuffie?"

Was that an honest-to-gods _giggle _he just heard from the bed?

Another step. "Yuffie, you may not like this, but I do actually intend on sleeping in my own bed, y'know."

"Don't care," was the muffled, petulant answer.

He sighed. "You realise I'm just about going to have to do some very bad things to you, on account of you being in my bed?"

Silence.

"…Oh, shit. That came out so wrong."

There was an indignant squawk from Yuffie. "That's offensive! I'll have you know I am an attractive young woman!"

He blinked at that. "It was also dirty. And you usually hit me for making sexual innuendoes."

The cream sheet flipped back to reveal a slightly sweating Yuffie, who yawned surprisingly delicately. "Don't care," she said again. "Just wanna go to sleep now."

Riku sighed at that. "In your bed. Not mine. I want to sleep tonight too."

The hackles went up now, and in that instant Riku realized that this was one point that he was not going to get into Yuffie's head tonight. "Don't _care._" Her indigo eyes closed, lashes fluttering for a moment, then relaxing fully. "Go to sleep already, Ri."

"But you're in my –"

She snorted, and wriggled into a tiny ball in one corner of the bed.

Riku blinked yet again at the implications. It was a clear invitation; even so, he hesitated for a moment, just waiting for Yuffie's breathing to settle into a close-to-sleep pattern. Only then did he cross the floor and sit carefully, quietly, ever so gingerly on the very edge of the bed, looking closely at the dozing girl. She was so small, and seemed innocent and childlike…

Leaning against the bedrest and a pillow, he tugged lightly on the blanket until the girl allowed him to cover himself, eyes still remaining closed. He did the same, resting his hand beside her head and a hand, fingers just brushing hers.

* * *

Because I love Ann THIS much and I can't believe I haven't talked to her in so long and yeah. Um… Happy Birthday? This is a side fic to _Renegade Hearts, _and would be easier to explain if I had posted the next chapter before this, but that doesn't matter that much. That will be up soon, and this is purely because the lovely authoress has inspired me with a video, the link of which I shall post on my profile so please check it out and comment and fave and... don't laugh at my comment too much. (I was signed on as xhailee)...

**Tally. SilverAuthoress. _Rikku_. AngelKairi.**

**-x- **_crack!_pa**i**r**i**ng g**o**dde_ss _**-x-**


End file.
